Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
