just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
