508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
