I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
pray to the hookup gods
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize