Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
