I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
