He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
