Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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