I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
