the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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