everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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