this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
