He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize