He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Who died my cat blue again?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
