I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
