I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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