I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
