i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
