Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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