yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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