i think i have herpe
just one?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
