If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
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Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
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My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics