Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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