we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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