i just made my gag reflex go away.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
