Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
