What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
