Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
