he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
