The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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