So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
