I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
