i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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