He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
