Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
