goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
