She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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