What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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