I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
