yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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