So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
