What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
