Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
