I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I had to cum in my sink.
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