Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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