At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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