We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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