hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
