Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
