you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
