im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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