you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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