Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
