I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
