nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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