I wish i was in the wii world.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
