Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
