they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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