the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
